A year in my life…
I just finished up the Andersonville Arts Weekend. There was a great turn out and I think all had fun…myself included. This year I exhibited the “Twig Sculptures” and a new series named “Years___” that focused on a painted representation of a cross section of a cut tree stump. Exposing the rings that each year’s grow period creates. This started to move my mind forward into the thought how things move in rings or cycles, a season, a year a life.
I was looking back at the pictures from last year compared to the ones from this years show. I was shocked at how different I looked, how much older I look. This marks a year in time between shows. The things I learned, things I gained and things I lost. It was a huge mirror placed in from of me and I had a difficult time connecting me to the reflection in the mirror. I saw the reflection of someone old, worn down and tired. I posted on my Facebook page today. What is your dream…and what steps are you doing today to move forward into that dream? And then I was forced to answer it for myself. What am I doing to make my dream become real?
I had to make a list of what I have been working on and really look at how effective my steps have been. On some level they have been helpful, others are ideas that are outdated and never really worked in the first place but I am still clinging on to them in hope that they will help me someday… I know it wasted time and energy. But we all have things to work through. I need to spend more time on my artwork, evening if it does not pay my bills but it does feed my soul.
I am learning to let go of things that do not make me feel good about my self. I am tired of individuals that are unhappy and chose to do nothing to change that… and I understand that I have been there where I have been so depress that I could not crawl up to see the light of day I just did not have the energy. They are really no dress rehearsals for life why would you not want to do the best performance that you can. What do you have to lose? I had a teacher years ago that told me it was always better to do what you felt in your heart then to look back in regret of a missed opportunity.
What I am having difficultly is that there seems not enough time in the day to do all that I would like. I just do not want to wake up someday an old man with nothing to show for it. I want to know that in my life that I made a difference and my life was used to the best of my abilities.