February 18, 2013

How is the artwork coming along?  You ask….

I promised you last week that I would include current images of the artwork. Although, it has been several days that I have sat with the paintings and they have had nothing to share with me, no insights to what might be the next step. It is clear to me that I am not done… but I do not know the next step.

The process of creating art for me is often somewhat of a double edge sword. There is the side that is smooth and polishes and refines me as I rub against it and then there is the edge that is rough and rips open the flesh for new growth to begin.  This piece has presented more of a rough, ripping edge. It has challenged and created a different level of expectation for me to strive towards in my work. It also has made me re-evaluate my use of time throughout the day. Even though I realized that there are only 24 hours in a day I still at times refuse to acknowledge that this phenomena also applies to me (much to my dismay).

Having this unrealistic perception of time allows me the strength to feel that I can step up and conquered the world, but it also leaves even more opportunity for me to feel that I have failed because “things” take longer than I think they should. This is the part that is difficult for me in the creative process. Living up to my own expectations and the feelings of disappointment when I feel that I have failed. This is not created by the words or actions of anyone, but my own internal voice.  So that is a struggle in addition to what happens on the canvas. So even thought these paintings do not contain any visible reds, it does contain some physiologically symbolic bloodletting.

This piece has challenged me in many ways that I never expected. I am grateful for the challenge, but sometimes a small breather would be welcomed.

 

There is a saying that, “What does not kill you, will make you stronger”.

 

I prefer my version, “What does not challenge you, will not help you to evolve”.

 Untitled 02-18-13

 

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