I can hear the sound of the chains on the swing set in the park squeak as someone is propelling higher and higher in the air. I do not know if it is a child or an adult. It reminds me of a time in my past when I was on a swing, headphones in my ears with music blasting in my ears as I increased my speed and my height wishing that I could let do of the chains and break into flight and be released from my earthy troubles. It was such a freeing moment, and although unrealistic the thoughts of such freedom made my sadness dissipate.
Motion has always been very significant for me the persistence of motion or the lack there of it. This has always informed me that I am moving forward in my life.
Lately, I have had the strange sensation that while riding my bike. That I am not the one in motion, but that I am on a stationary bike and that I am simply surround by a screen that my world is being projected upon. The only way I can express this is along the lines of an old b/w film where you view a scene with an individual driving in a car. You see the background of passing tree and other objects thru the car windows. But… the person is not moving, the car is not moving. There is only the background is moving and that is an illusion.
Last week was difficult and very confusing. I feel blocked and stuck in the mediocrity of what I have learned to call my life. I must move forward out of the grey.