The seeds of summer begin shedding their outer shells. Revealing a tiny green sprout that is hidden just below the surface. The silence in the beginning as nothing is tangible just energy whooshing about. Washing over the feelings of heavy expectations, hurt, disappointment, shame and fear. This is what has built the outer shell; piece-by-piece, layer-by-layer; it has been reinforced, nurtured and showered with love.
It is the blackened blinders that limit the scope of vision. Stuck and afraid, not knowing what to think or how to move as the light of day steams into the fractured kernel. An opportunity to curl up and rest till the storm passes, but there are fragments of me that want to go play in the lightening. I am not sure if either of these are the correct alternatives. Observations and seeing are very different things.
What to walk away with in this moment? The calm balance, crave the sunnier, more joy. Lose my connection to what I hold dear most, being human deserving of a genuine human experience, seed expressing, expanding, evolving.
The body; tightness in the shoulders, neck, stomach feels very low in the gut, shoulder blades pushed forward. Temples tight as the eyes search for sleep and want to close, maybe to get a better idea of what is. Arms feel heavy but resting as thoughts and fear are released into print, to remove it from the minds eye, to place it before me rather than be flooded, drowned and consumed.
The light flicks off and there is silence and the seed waits in the darkness.