May 14, 2012

This is my first Monday in 16 weeks that I have not had French class instead it was spent going to Home Depot with a very good friend of mine to pick out flowers for my back porch. Then I came home and planted all the flowers that will create my place of solitude for the summer. There was also a late night walk to Target to pick up a new chair and new dragonfly lights to wrap around the parameter of my space and a couple of candles…I am finally able to connect to my surroundings and feel again the shoulders are relaxed and no longer up by my ears. The last couple weeks of class were intense and very stressful to say the least. I have to thank the people who surround me everyday, THANK YOU for dealing with me…

So now I am relaxing on my back porch typing this and looking up at the stars.

Pondering what my future is to be…

I have a conversational class that I am starting June 6^th. I should feel relief that I made it though my first course but I feel even more pressure to get to a more comfortable level with my knowledge before I am forced to use what I have learned in a social setting.  It is one thing to talk to myself in the mirror and to have a real live person sitting in front of me giving me strange looks trying to figure out what the hell I am trying to say…

So the story continues… I knew that taking on the task of learning a language was going to be difficult. But let me be very clear, I had no idea that it would consume me in such a manner. For the past 16 weeks I have surrounded myself with French everything in my home is labeled in French. I have only listened to French music, I have even practiced my French numbers while riding my bike to and from work. I have even gone as far as trying to read a beginners French book.  All this and still if I am asked a question in French I fall apart. I may understand what has been asked, but not always…and to have to reply…really? lol

I also  have a painting on the easel that has been there for about 15 weeks the funny thing is that is a painting of a butterfly…for me this means transition.  I have felt that this moment  is where I need to be and I need to scratch and crawl and sometimes kicking my way to the other side. This is just my gut feeling, there is no logic to it, believe me I have sat many hours thinking what the hell, am I crazy for putting my self through this…and then I answer, Yes! as I continue studying… but you have heard this all before…I am crazy and I am learning French… Ce n’est pas de tes oignons!!! ( just kidding)

Something new as if my schedule is not insane enough. Crazy is what crazy does… but I have been playing with the idea of doing some freelance writing on the side to see if I can create a another source of income.  And to fill up that  extra spare free-time…lol   that is something sitting on the table waiting (literally) for me to explore. So my summer was to be relaxing, but anyone who know anything about me will know that is not something I can understand… nor do very well. There is a whole world waiting out there for me with many  new and wonderful things to explore and learn. I don’t want to miss anything!

What are your plans for the summer?