The initial writings for today’s post had a very different feel and focus, as I moved through my day something shifted in the studio and my mind began to wander.

While working on the reclaimed 32-inch raw tabletop that I prepped last week with several applications of gesso.  It became clear to me that this piece will not be for sale, not even sure it is something I will submit for shows, it is for my personal collection.

Because of the shape (round) and size it is organically the configuration of a Mandala. I have created these in the past and this work has always informed my process of why I create the work I do. Although mandalas are often created in various materials they are usually initiated from the center working out to the edges, in the past I have followed this tradition. But for this piece it feels different, there is an altered process that is necessary for me to create this work. The widespread understanding of a mandala is to focus on the center and allow the eye and energy to expand and to move outward: physically and mentally into the world. My current perception of this piece is that I am to start from the outer edges and work my way inward, causing the energy to turn inward to produce a pure essence to expand organically.

My intention  is that this work, as it moves forward, will become a learning tool. Helping me understand how I may become more authentic in my work, a meditation in motion and color. The energy of this work excites me and I really don’t mean to tease you, but I am choosing to keep how process evolves close to my chest as I feel it well be seeds for future work. I apologize for not sharing more about this work, but I believe this is giant step that will help me move forward.

I have included two more images of the work, just to give you an idea of the size and nature of this work. These might be the last I post of this piece.

Teaching myself how to gesso a raw surface to prep it for painting.

This might lead to me learning how to stretched and prep my own canvases for future works. I want to start to work on larger canvas and stretching my own will allow me to create any size canvas and cut down on the cost.

Here are images of the repurposed 32-inch raw tabletop and an image with the first application of gesso, this needs to dry and sanded and then several more applications of gesso and then the surface will be ready to paint on.

As a culture we are always building or creating stuff. Gathering random pieces and parts, connecting them together in the great hopes of creating something larger than the sum of its parts.These objects are assembled and expressed in various modes of constructions: a house, a meal, a sweater or even a career. The small kernel of an idea nurtured with the intent of searching and reaching to understand how to formulate the desired outcome, a bigger and better purpose an element of grace or great beauty.

What happens if we take this same situation and reverse the process to deconstruct it? Removing each layer, each section or part to experience how does it feels to un-create it. Do you think you would perceive it differently, understanding that object in a completely different manner, appreciating the creation in reverse?

I am sure that you have watched a small child fascinated while taking apart something they shouldn’t be. They struggle to understand how it works. Watches, radios all types of objects that are constructed of many little moving parts are sacrificed in this learning process.Think of something that you created or built today. What would your experience be to deconstruct that? What would that process look like and how would that make you feel? What steps would you take to dismantle it, removing each layer, each element? Would this create a different connection or respect towards the object? Observing this breaking up allows an individual a wonderful opportunity for insights that might have been missed during the creation process.

Would it feel different to deconstruct something that was created by another person? Experiencing this process might offer you a glimpse into their story, a guided narration of their history that helped to inform them.

Breaking up = breaking things into pieces to assemble them back together in a different form.

A pastel study that I worked on last night, a small glimpse into my creative process.

Some of these elements might find their way into a painting sometime in the future. My focus was to explore the relationships between the human form, color and different ways to divide up the space on the 14in. x 11in. page.

Tick tock, my personal chaperon for every passing second with the systematically daunting tick tock, tick tock, as I walk down the hallway of time. It is often understood that a minute follows the next in a neat and orderly fashion. I am fairly certain you have experienced moments that time did not follow this linear lineup. The silence of each passing minute filling an eternity and moments whooshing by in the blink of an eye, between these two peaks we contemplate life.

It is my personal observance, if you are engaged in something that you enjoy, time passes quickly, conversely when participating in something that makes you miserable or pushes a comfort level, time freezes. What causes us to interpret time differently; it is the same passage by the hands of time.

Experience is constantly fine-tuning my consciousness to adapt to what surrounds me. An average human beings lifespan encompasses approximately 34,790,757 minutes. Currently, I have used 23,677,190 minutes. My personal choices will inform how those remaining minutes are fulfilled, whether they are enjoyed or simply tolerated.

My days quickly turn into weeks and months and before I know it, months have passed. I have to sit down and go through all lists containing what I have accomplished, proving to myself that all that time really did pass before my eyes. I enjoy what fills my time and the work that I create engages me. This passing of time instills an element of urgency as time is fleeting and reminds me to embrace it before it dissipates.

How do you experience the passing of time?

If not now, then when?