I woke up with great plans to go to the Art Institute this morning to see the “Picasso in Chicago” exhibit.  But, I woke up to a very rainy and windy day. Try as I might, I could not get my self motivated to step out of the apartment.  So, I would not say that my “ART” day fell apart completely at that point; it just had to be quickly restructured a bit differently.  So instead the focus turned to clearing out the “Art Closet”. This gave me a wonderful opportunity to become reacquainted with some of the objects that I have been collecting and storing for future art projects.  It was a great way for me to get the creative juices flowing and to forget that the original goal of what I was really doing was “cleaning”.

But with this newly acquired downtime to explore random objects. I started to think about why I feel so strongly about making art. Why am I sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by all of this “stuff”?  What is my motivation for collecting all of these things for art making?  The best explanation that I could come up with that seemed concise and not a rambling discourse, “I make art to help me make sense of the world that I live in”. I take in all the ideas, visuals, conversations and everything thing else that I am exposed to… good, bad and the indifferent and all of this gets processed in my head. The art that I create is my response to what has mentally and emotionally move through me.

It is with this information that I am given the raw material to build a foundation for the artwork.  Often the ideas or concepts will race through my mind as a natural progression of word associations that from an outsider’s perception would be view as nothing more than randomness. These are then mixed with feelings and emotions that have been stimulated during the process.  The journey of the making of the art moves me forward along this path. Sometime this is a path that is well organized and goes through the best part of the neighborhoods and other time this path is a little more scary, lets just say a little more primal and less refined, as I have said many times before, “The brighter the light, the darker the shadow”. You just need to have a strong conviction and push your way through to the other side. All of these things mixed together define why I make Art. It is what fills my life with purpose and meaning.

So at the end of my day, I have a clean and organized art storage space and a table in the studio that is covered with things to inspire me. So all in all it was a good day. If there is one thing I have learned that helps me, as an artist. In order for me to make art and maintain some level of sanity. I need to be able to adapt and become fluid in the course of the day. At any given moment, things may seem to crumble and start falling apart. It is helpful to have the ability to be able to “switch to damage control” and redirect your creative energy.  This is the preferred goal, but I must admit it is one that I am not always able to achieve.

So next Monday, I will try to see the exhibit and go forward from there.

I have spent my afternoon pondering this question and the unrelenting response has been… I think an artist should allow the art to flow from their life freely and not so much about the molding. When I think of the word molding, it makes me think of something that is formed and stretched to fit into a form or to conform to that which it would not necessarily be found in nature or otherwise. It is not something that is organic. Art should be an extension of the individual. It is like air, water and food to the artist, one cannot exist without the other. The individual and the art share a symbolic coexistence. Without the art the individual would suffer and without the individual the art would not be created.

So how can you separate the two?  Should you even try…? For me, art is a way to create balance and work out conflicts in my mind that I may not understand. In the beginning it is a way to explore ideas and concepts that may have never occurred to me. It also provides a method for me to work through things that might be anxiety producing for me or shine the light of clarity on things that are fear based. It allows a symbiotic process to explore and it gives me on many levels permission to play and explore. Without worrying about the finial outcome(s).

There are the times that I feel that my life is surrounded and molded around the art making and then other times when the art making seem to consume every element of my being… this is more of a fluid concept and there are no absolutes. It is a still serene lake with rough currents just under the surface.

How does this apply to you in your art or your creating?  This can take many forms; art can be something that is literal or figurative.  Painting, writing, dancing, teaching and accounting they each have their own unique mediums that they specialize and excel in. What capacity does art occupy your life; a career, hobby or merely something that you have dabbled in? How would you answer the Question, “Should an artist mold their life around art, or art around life?”

APRIL = SPRING

I have started to toy with the idea of spring being right around the corner. Spring for me has always been the turning point of the year. I feel that my lungs are able to fill with fresh air and my creative muse is stretching and waking from the slumber of winter. It is the time for fresh outlooks and ideas. Even thought it is a little cool out today the bright sunlight is proof that winter is waving goodbye.

The fact that the weather will continue to improve makes me want to escape from the studio and become more social.  I am playing with the idea of opening up the studio Monday evenings between 6:00 and 10:00pm for people to stop by for a small impromptu gathering with wine, snacks and lively discussions about “Art”. It is always nice to be able to bounce ideas between fellow artists and see what magic happens. I will keep you posted on what date this event will start.

Also next Monday, April 8, I plan on going to the Art Institute to see the Picasso and Chicago exhibit. Let me know if you would like to join me. I plan on being down there about 10am so I can come back in the late afternoon and work in the studio.

So what is happening in the studio, you might ask…

There are two new canvases that I have underpainted and starting to work on the concepts and general ideas. So I will post images in the near future… but for now it will be a mystery… for you and me!  I am also exploring different venue to host my artwork this year (in other words. I am looking for shows. I am running out of wall space in my apartment so I need to start selling some of these pieces).

So it time to switch over to the painting clothes.

The canvas is staring at me and needs attention.

Have an amazing day!

Key

A key to memories of your past

A key to protect a cherished family heirloom

A key of freedom from a painful past

A key that binds you to an abusive relationship that you feel you deserve

A key that holds the answers that you have been searching for all of your life

A key to that one missing element of your being

A key to the goal that you are currently attempting

A key to a beginning

A key for closure to what was

A key to something hidden… a secret

The key to a future of choice…

What does this key mean to you?

jmk

Another gray, cold day…it is the cloak that surrounds me making my depression more pronounced. The day started great with a field trip to Dick Blick to pick up some new paintbrushes and some other fun things. But with the walk home from the El, my mood quickly spiraled downward. The damp coldness cuts into me to the bone and makes me only want to return home and not really explore the world anymore.  I know I should use this day to rest my body and give time to replenish my soul with creative energy, but it only makes me feel more depressed and feeds into the levels of questioning thoughts, self-doubt and uncertainty.  All the past messages that I have stored in the back of my mind have come out to play in the gray of the day. I try to be upbeat and present a positive side to the face of the world.  But inside I am just trying to get by and make it through the day.

I have started to read “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. He explores the thoughts and concepts about “resistance” and how it might play out in the world of an artist. I have learned many things from his words and try to apply his wisdom to my practice. I have people who have asked me how am I able to do all of this, balance everything in my life. How am I able to produce so much and still have the energy to stand up?  My only reply is that it is all smoke and mirrors and some Vaseline. It is the only way that I know how to function so I can move forward in my day and with my life. I struggle daily with my internal voices that constantly tell me that I am the “one” that will cause me to “make it” or “break it”. I struggle with the voices of my past and the ideas and beliefs that have been instilled in my brain throughout my life. I struggle with the moments of what if?  I wake up in the morning with the anxiety, will I be able to make it through the day. Will I be able to live up to my own personal expectations? I question what is good enough? What is enough?

Today on my travels I pulled out the Walkman and listened to cassettes of old music from days gone. I felt sad because the times enjoyed in those songs are gone. Time has changed everything, and the memories are there but I question how real those really are. The innocent is gone and some of the wonder has been beaten out of me. It has been replace by strength and the ability to hold my head up high even when all I want to do is curl up and hide.  The saying what does not kill you makes you stronger, it can also create a sense of emptiness and sadness, feelings that fills that void.

So the gray of the day reminds me of the past and the feelings that make me sad. They say the brighter the light the darker the shadows, when it is gray there is not the bright of light and there are no shadows, all seems filled with despair.

But I hold my head up high and hope that the gray will be replaced by the brightness of a new day. A day that will allow me the chance to become the person I am meant to be.

I wanted to share with you something very exciting!

The diptych is now finished. I placed the final touches this afternoon when I returned from work. All that is left now is to patiently wait for the paint to dry completely. This will allow the tones to even out and display the true matured colors.   Although, I have been working on these for over four months I have yet to come up with a title, but that will come in time. I need to sit with the paintings for a while and see what feels right…but for now, they will be known as the “Untitled Diptych”.

It seems very odd to finally see these off of the easel and hanging on the wall. This is the furthest distance that they have been apart from each other since starting them.  It always intrigues me that when I finish with a particular piece and step back to view it as a complete work, they always seem to take on a personality all of their own that was not apparent to me while I was painting.

In the process of creating these I learned many things. I realized that as the work progressed my level of expectation shifted. I was more aware of things that needed a little extra special attention and I was able to fine-tune things as I went along. I feel that this piece challenged me in different ways then my past art has.  Although, I am sad to see this piece finished. I am excited with the thoughts of what the future canvas holds for me. I am also thankful for all that this piece has taught me about my work and of myself.

Recycle~

recycle |rēˈsīkəl|

verb [ with obj. ]

convert (waste) into reusable material: car hulks were recycled into new steel | (as adj. recycled) : goods made of recycled materials | (as noun recycling) : a call for the recycling of all paper.

• return (material) to a previous stage in a cyclic process.

• use again: he reserves the right to recycle his own text.

DERIVATIVES

recycler |-k(ə)lər|noun

For many years now, I have been confronting the concept of cycles in my artwork. How we move through them and how they affect us. It has been my experience that they often return creating a complete full circle. This includes both the tangible and the more elusive subject matters. In my art-world I have taken on a form of Ouroboros (an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail). I have been exploring cycles and playing on the variations of them. I have found that often when things return completing the cycle, they have changed or transcended from their previous form.

This is one of the things that most fascinates me about my artwork, utilizing something that has seemly pasted its life span and transforming it into something that holds new life. The object informs me of a different purpose and breaths life back into the object and into my artwork. This process takes on so many different forms, ideas, applications and concepts. Sometimes this is obvious in my artwork but more times than not it is the skeleton that the work is built upon.

In my research of what people associate with the word recycle.  I have found many mixed responses, ranging from the very positive to the horribly negative. I find a certain beauty in something that is weathered or an object that was well loved and shows signs of wear. These objects can be organic and nature based or man-made.

It seems that we have created a world filled with disposables. Where things only have value until the newer version comes along, unfortunately this mindset often also includes individuals. So it seems that the word “recycle” is often dismissed quickly and the word “replaced” has more power and attraction.

So, I pose a question to you.

What does the word “recycle” mean to you?

I started this morning by placing a purple glow stick around my wrist as a reminder that I have the strength to make it through the day, finishing everything that needed to be done.  So I created this fantasy that the glow stick would instill in me the superhuman powers necessary. I would have liked to say that it helped… maybe next week I will try using the cape as well.

This week has been all about learning balance… the lack of balance and how I made it through without completely freaking out. Here are a few things that made for an interesting and challenging week.

1.) My website seemed to have take on its own special “craziness”. The site reorganized itself, changed colors, fonts and made some things just vanish. I had my own personal online poltergeist. (Things are better now…deep breathing)

2.) My desk in my studio decided to collapse last night while I was doing some artwork (was this perhaps the universe telling me I needed to clean off my desk? Hmmm maybe).  New desk today, fewer projects stacked on the desk.

Although several other crash and burn moments happened …  lets visit the other end of this spectrum… the good things. I have many new and wonderful items on my plate of possibilities that are slowing coming into fruition. I will keep you posted as things move forward but as a teaser.

1.) There will soon be a video uploaded on my website about calligraphy.

2.) An “article” about me the “Artist” in the near future…

Now back to that thing I call balance, or at least the ebb and flow and the ever-changing space between. One of the things that I try to do as often as I can, as an artist is to push my comfort levels to see what I can learn from the experience and how it affects me.

In most of my workdays, whether it is my day job or time in the studio. I am alone for the most part, which helps me focus. But unfortunately it also can become very lonely. The internal conversations are only satisfying for so long before they lose their charm. So my solution, I have started to take myself on little field trips to different galleries and other “art” venues on the north side. Just to get myself immersed in the environments and to help me be more confident and relaxed while discussing my art with people.

My goal for each week is to add a new item to my list to help me grow as an artist and as a human being.

I liked the image below (scroll down) and wanted to share it with you because I think carries a great message. Its original purpose is a symbol for recycling. Which I am very passionate about but today it also has a different significance.

During the course of a day we are all exposed to millions of things: conversations, images, smells, stress and numerous things that we absorb without knowing. These affect us in countless ways, both good and bad. We process all of this information and we recycle it into what we present to the world. At this point we have the opportunity to take all that we take in and to do good with it make it something new, positive and inspiring for others.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

“A piece of art is never a finished work. It answers a question which has been asked, and asks a new question.” ~Robert Engman

I had originally thought that I would share with you my profound thoughts about this quote… well, it didn’t seem to follow that direction shortly after I started.

It is my experience is that the question that is often asked starts with the word…WHY?

Today was spent in the studio with the focus of getting everything completed.

Realistic… well, not even close.

Here is the list: at least the part that I was able to finish. I will not share the entire list because it only depresses me. This is less than half of the original list.

1.)  Work on “social media”, connecting with new and different artist on Facebook. I want to be able to explore artist’s work and be able to share mine with them… increasing my visibility.

2.)  Connecting with individuals on LinkedIn. Not really the forum for an artist, I think it is more for corporate business and individuals that work 9-5. Nonetheless, I found contacts there. And shared my website and blog links. Maybe a corporate account will fall in my lap. You don’t know unless you ask, correct?

3.)  Worked on the two paintings trying to fine-tune them making the lines crisper and just overall adding the finishing touches. The goal is for them to be done by this weekend. I will post when they are complete and hanging on my wall.

4.)  Fixed my yahoo e-mail account that seemed to have been hacked this evening. This was not a planned event for the day… more of a “guess what, surprise” So if you get a random email(s) from me with a link. Please do not open it and I am sorry for any potential issue.

5.)  Started working on a new 30in x 20in painting. While the other one dries.

6.) Create this…  blog for the week.

7.)  This is where my energy cheerleader left and I was kicked to the side.

The questions of the day…and they are not because of the painting, or of the creative process but because of trying to finish things so I could actually work on the paintings.

WHY did it the day go by so quickly?  Here it is 11:45pm and I am still working on the list.

In connecting with artist in the last couple days, from all over the world. I have seen some amazing works.

I wonder HOW they are able to do it? How do they have the time to do the marketing, the prep work, research, have a family, have a life and still be able to produce such high volumes of artwork?

HOW are they able to do this with out going insane in the process? It just amazes me. I feel like I am constantly trying to finish things and I run out of time and energy. It makes me seriously question whether I am missing something here.  As if the clue phone is ringing… and I can’t hear it.

So this is frustrating for me, do other artist have this issue, or am I just doing something wrong?

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they’re still beautiful.

Alice Walker

Today I was really craving a break from the studio. It was a beautiful sunny day and I wanted to be outside to play. So I grabbed the camera and went exploring. Usually, when these moments hit I am always looking at the ground to find twigs or other random objects to use in my sculptures. But today, I decided to look up into the sky… the big beautiful blue sky. Although still looking at twigs but these were still attached to the trees. I have always felt a deep connection to trees and Yes… I have hugged my share of trees in my lifetime.

I find them inspiring and very grounding. They gently remind me that everything in life goes through cycles of growth and rest. Sometimes we are exposed to things that damage us. Leaving us disfigured and scared. But time and nature do their best to repair these. Giving us the opportunity to view things with a different perspective.

I have posted some of the trees that I visited today. Total I shot over 100 images. These are some of my favorites. They seemed to have the strongest personalities. It is my hope that these will inspire me …and maybe you will find these inspirational as well.